thesinger
thelyrics
thechords
themelody
foryou
you're
my song.
it's been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so how can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can't help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade.
but everythingmeans nothing.
Sunday, August 31, 2003
Yoz.. juz finished one VERY small part of my Project... And I used up like about 5 hours? Haiz.. I dunnoe how long will I take to do the rest.. But nevermind.. not planning to sleep early today.. Wanna to finish the skeleton part.. so that I can finally move on to the crux part.. Now I am gonna to take a break! Going to watch The Matrix again.. Hehhee... my sister found it for me and I gave her a kiss~ Hehez.. never done that for a very long time liao! Hahaha! So how are all of you people? Doing fine? I think all of us the same lahz... project siao liao... I think use 2 hands also cannot finish counting the total number of big projects and small projects we will have this semester.. sianz... Alright.. gtg liao.. see ya!
if i ain't got you|10:36 PM|
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Ernest got a full time job... Well 6 days per week.. from 12pm-10pm.. with a pathetic pay of $950.. how am I suppose to feel? I don't know.. Told him before it ain't worth it... And he doesn't need the experience... coz he was a service crew for a very long time before... Although now in a different environment.. the job seems to be much easier than the places he had worked before.. He will be working in Far East.. Sakura. Yep... Head that the manager or supervisor is a butch.. Dunnoe lah.. but it is not important to me.. Anyway... he is going to start his job next Tues.. I think like that also not bad ah.. Coz I predict that I am going to be very busy when school reopens after a week later... Plan to do lotsa things over the holidays.. not fun things... but I don't know if I am up to it.. I've been neglecting my guitar.. I've been neglecting lotsa things.. I juz can't stay focus.. even when I have napz.. I can't sleep well... My dreams will be full of studies.. Like shifting from one module to another.. The only times when I can sleep.. is when I am really too exhausted.... Damn...
if i ain't got you|6:57 PM|
Friday, August 29, 2003
Haha... running a fever today.. so tired.. couldn't think properly and help much in the projects.. sorry guys.. I ate only a meal today.. arGhz.. very rare to hear this from glutton Crystal? Haiz.. Now is like I have additonal stress... I told ya I have this project module (E-commerce) right? Yep.. Is like for my part.. if I do not do my part well.. I will definitely pull the whole group down.. This is shit...Suppose to do a shopping cart for our webbie and Mdm Tay said that it is the most difficult part to do.. I dunnoe lahz.. but I feel that Mdm Tay doesn't have much confidence in me and doesn't expect much from our group.. I think this is understandable... Haiz.. I think I am going to choose Business.. the reason it's becoz.. since she doesn't have confidence in me.. no point staying in IT.. and I rather to spend more time for my business modules.. maybe.. maybe.. going help my Dad in future... Hmm.. sometimes when I sit down and think.. am I a weakling? Is like I quit JC and go to Poly.. and now.. becoz of the stupid stress I am having now.. I wish to quit Poly and juz go overseas? I know this is nonsense.. but still.. I didn't regret for not going to JC.. I didn't regret for goingt o Poly either.. it is juz that.. I am really tired... tired of studying and struggling.. I always have high expectations and in turn.. I will juz torture myself.. Is it worth it? I dunnoe.. IN the end.. I am only getting a diploma~ Unless I want to be in the top 5%.. which is hard to get too.. I am competing with 300+ people.. and 5% if it is like about 15 people? I know very well that I am not clever and I am not a study material.. but I juz can't afford myself to fall... wad to do... this prolonged thinking give me headaches...
if i ain't got you|10:59 PM|
Well.. well.. now it is juz the start of my holidays! In lab.. still dun wanna eat.. later discussing projects again.. Don't think I will go back to Secondary School today.. kinda tired.. dun wanna to enter another realm of STRESS~ Later they are going to ask me.. how's life here and there... then they are going to ask another question again and again.. "Y u choose poly and not JC?" I've had enough.. I dun wanna breaK the bad news to them coz it's Teacher's Day.. I think by not going back.. it might be the best present for them... Anyway... Did I tell u that my driving license was sent to my house yesterday? It is nice.. I like the layout of the card.. colour combi also not bad... Haiz.. I dunnoe what to do now.. is like I am trying to make conversations to my mum.. but is like we are not at toking terms. When I was driving to school juz now and she was sitting besite me.. we didn't even tok.. I dunnoe what to do now.. maybe I shan't be home so early today. I went to SSDC with my friends yesterday.. coz I was waiting for my Mum.. then at the same time.. I went to visit Nelson.. Well..he is still as stressed up as usual and maybe planning to eat out with him on Thursday.. dunnoe where to treat him also.. I might be buying for him a gift too.. but dunnoe wad.. sianz.. Might be buying today.
if i ain't got you|10:26 AM|
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Don't know wads happening to me... I have been having headaches EVERY evening and today.. I only had my breakfast at 9.00 am? Until now.. I dun have any appetite to eat.. I don't know it's becoz of wad.. Maybe it is really stress.. Ernest asked me go and see a doctor.. But wad for.. I know what the doctor is going to say.. Oh yah.. Here.. I would like to congratulate Yan Rong for passing her Basic Theory Test! Congrates Yan Rong! Way to Go gIrl~ Hmm... I really hope I could get out of this phase of life soon~ iT sux! I am trying very hard to make my life interesting ya know... but is like my mind is filled with worries.. about projects and school stuff~ Ah.. you all muz feel very bored.. to hear my complaining this and that.. BUT I JUZ HATE IT! aRghzz... I dunnoe lah.. Dunoe wad to blog also.. Bye.
if i ain't got you|8:16 PM|
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Life is hard.. so wad if I am rich.. Becoz my family is rich.. thta's why I am so upset now. I rather not to be rich in this case. I dunnoe what to do. My mother had juz raised up my relationship with Ernest... said lots of things. Well.. they are not "senseless" things.. but sometimes.. you cannot juz blame the child for having such a messy family background? It is the child who is an innocent party! He has been through hell... and becoz he is the only child.. he has to undertake lotsa stress... And now.. he has to put up with my mother's comments. If I were him.. I will be very upset too. This is shit.. School is already hell, and now.. another new problem? I know.. you all would tell me that the decision is up to me..no matter how my mother thinks... But things are not that simple... Sometimes, we have to think people around us before we make any decisions. I know it's my life, I should control it, but I juz can't help thinking about other people. I love my Mum... I love my family.. I don't want becoz of this.. our relationship turns sour.. I love Ernest too, but this is juz too much for him.. Should I juz leave him to save him from all this misery and make my mother glad? I don't know... I juz dunnoe what to do..
if i ain't got you|10:41 PM|
GoOd moRnIng dUdes! Well.. juz finished my DBMS tutorial.. surprised that I'll finished early eh? Lolz.. Juz tot that maybe I have lots to do today.. I have to make a trip down to SSDC later to collect my addtional funds back. I cancelled a few lessons and still have some amount of money there.. Hmm.. Also.. I might be going to Yan Rong's house to collect the Basic Theory Book. Oh yah... toking about Basic Theory.. Meli, Sean, Benji and DoReen are going to have their test tomorrow! GoOd lUck Guys! pSsT* muSt sTudy~ Hehehz.. I slept kinda early last night.. Well.. This always happens in Even Weeks.. cOZ have to go to school early almost every morning~ dUhz.. Luckily this Friday ends at 10! =chUcKs= Then it will be holidays!! yIpEE! But I don't really consider it as a holiday.. coz have to buCk up and do pRojects... Haiz.. at least no need to wake up so early and go to sch to see tuTors fAce~ This coming Tuesday is my Option Day.. What's that ah? Well.. I am supppose to choose my area of specialization.. either IT or Business.. wad do all of ya think? In the end I will get a IT cert no matter where I choose.. Haiz.. sian.. dunnoe wad to choose.. Some already decided to go on Business coz they think IT is difficult.. some go for IT.. coz they think Business is boring.. Hmm.. That's Y I said.. "Life is full of choices.. that's wad make huams suffer" Sometimes.. I juz complain when I have so many to choose from.. Sianz.. cOZ I am afriad that I might choose the wrong option.. Hmmm.. feeling hungry already.. gOt pPl~ cYa!
if i ain't got you|10:36 AM|
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Juz came home.. Hmm.. check out the weather? iT is raining!!! I went to meet eRnest today and he gave me the flowers.. there are 2 types. One bouquet is the lIlies.. as I've told you.. and another bouquet is some "eStic" (dunnoe how to spell) flowers.. this "estIc" flowers are dry flowers but fresh (contradicting ah?) and last for a few years.. Amazing ah? Singapore does sell these flowers but heard that it's expensive. The best part is that most of the liLies that he gave me are still not bloomed yet.. Well.. I love to see flowers bloom~ Finally.. I am somehow out of the probation period.. hehehzz.. coz I am allowed to drive outside alone. I drove to Ernest's house and fetched him.. then we went all the way down to fIsh aNd Co at the glass house. Well.. once again, we ate wholeline fish.. lOlz.. After that, we juz went home.. coz too tired... oN my way back home.. iT was like raining quite heavily.. kInda scared.. but I still manage to drive home safely. =) Well.. another thing which is damn stupid.. my parking.. hAd difficulty in parking.. so juZ now.. Ernest and I chose an easy spot to park my vehicle.. Tomorrow maybe try to practise on my parking.. lOlz..Also.. I manage to drive abit faster today.. I think I am going to overcome the fear of driving on the road faster.. Oh yah.. got some of my results today.. kinda satisfied.. no complains.. Life still goes on this way~
if i ain't got you|11:08 PM|
Monday, August 25, 2003
Yoz~ Well.. Ernest is supposed to be back today, but he hasn't called.. SiAnz.. tHe cAuSeWAY jam again aR? hOpe not.. Did my tuTorials juz now.. Damn sIaNz.. hAte fiNance to the core! aNd another boring module.. TCP/IP~ BlAh~ iT sUx! Anyway.. I drove to school and back home today.. kinda fun and getting used to the feeling with my dAd's Car. AH!!! Ernest is HoMe!!! Hehhe.. feel happy to hear his voice lorhz... Hmm.. I did my practical.. and completed! Hmmm... heard that Sim Lim injured himself while playing basketball.. and he couldn't come to school tomorrow.. hope he gets well soon! Take care Sim Lim!!! Oh yah.. one last thing.. wanna dedicate this to Benjamin.. Benji! Thanks for everything ah~ I know you helped me alot for my practical~ Hope that you keep doing that! :P Haiz.. Don't wanna blog liao.. wanna tok to Ernest! Hehehzzz..
Message for Shannen:
I know you are very upset of what had happened recently.. but nevertheless, don't give up life. Just take some time to cool down and this time.. Don't think too much too. Your aim now is to concentrate on your studies.
if i ain't got you|11:29 PM|
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Juz finished my part on the project "Business Law".. well.. juz now when I was doing half way through.. my head suddenly hurts and I took panadol again... My headaches seems to come everyday. It sux alright.. Now my head seems like very dense and feel like sleeping again.. But anyway.. Luckily I managed to finish the project. Juz now Benjamin messaged me and I only replied him only for like 2 hours later? So sorry Ben!!! He wanted to ask me out to do some school work.. but my handpnone was not with me when I was doing my project... Now he is like wandering outside.. dun feel like going home. Hmm... now my friend and his another friend opend another blog (their identities suppose to be kept in secret I think) .. specially for those Business Informatics Yr 2 students.. I will place a link there.. Currently there's only a few ppl.. Kinda fun to have joint blogs.. dun ya think? If you all wanna catch me in that blog.. my nick will be "Turtle" hehehz.. Hmm.. haiz.. I dreamt of Kenau Reeves juz now.. Cool eh.. hehe.. starting to idolize him more and more. I don't know why.. it is juz that the older the gets, the more charming he is.. I really do hope I have the chance to see him once. (kinda impossible eh?)
if i ain't got you|4:14 PM|
Ernest called me from Malaysia!!! Yapz.. I tot that he wouldn't call coz it is kinda expensive ya know... Hehez.. I was like taking a short nap and he called. I was like in a blur stage.. hehez.. anyway, it is very cold over there (Cameron Highlands) and he fell sick. He had to buy another wind breaker to keep himself warm. Hmm.. take care alright? Time really flies and Monday.. he will be back! =) Well.. he wanted to get roses for me.. but it can't last long and tomorrow he said he will try to get some lilies for me.. hehezzz.. I never expect him to really go and get it fromm there, I was like juz only jokin? I went out with Lindy and Yan Rong today and Yan Rong was like very late becoz she had to go to the bank first. While waiting for Yan Rong, Lindy and I sat in a cafe and talked about our classmates. Lolz... sometimes.. we juz can't stand some ppl in our class.. But anyway.. that's pure chatting~ After meeting up with Yan Rong, we went ktv.. I didn't really sing much songs becoz I was like very tired.. After KTV, we went to Charles And Keith to look at shoes. I wanted to buy one for my presentation, it is kinda high heeled, but I think I betta ask my mum first.. Lolz! Juz one day had passed, and I am starting to miz Nelson. Well... U know, after u have developed a "not-so-bad" friendship with someone else... then when u know that U won't be keeping in touch with him so often in future... U will also feel as bad right? he is really a nice friend I should say.. a friend I can joke and talk with.. different from majority of my friends.. coz he is so much more mature and he is very open about himself. And most importantly.. he is very professional and serious in his work and this made me idolize him alot.. not many ppl can do that u know. Hmm.. told ya that I promised to give him a treat.. but dunnoe when.. coz he is VERY busy... no off days (coz he wanna earn more) and further more... I am tied down with my studies and projects.. Hey.. anyone knows when is "MoonCake Festival"? The exact date? Please tell me if u know! Thanks!!!
if i ain't got you|12:40 AM|
Friday, August 22, 2003
Shitz.. I am having a mixture of feelings... Happy becoz I've passed my driving test but still I am under probation under my mum, dad and bRo. But the worst is not over yet.. I have still my upcoming school work to handle... today, I've missed two lessons and it requires me to do another intensive web application. I juz did one last week! This is shit.. and Monday I have E-commerce test. Although it is a short one.. but I feel oblige to do well.. Arghzz~ Wadever... Juz now had a drive out of the road in my dAd's caR.. well it was okie.. but onyl for the steering part.. coz I am used to having heavy steering.. but my dad's car steering is kinda light! So not used to it.. Coz my dad's car is an european car.. the signalling and hand brake are all in different positions.. Juz now.. my relatives got to know about the good news.. they wanted me to fetch them to Geylang and eat the bean curd.. lolz.. !!! Well.. I dunnoe whether can anot.. but I think it is not advisable to, It seems like other ppl are more happy than me when I got my license.. dunnoe why.. Lolz.. My auntie asked me why am I at home.. never go out and celebrate.. Well.. I said, no one celebrating with me... Then she said should tell her earlier.. then my relatives can celebrate with me.. LoLz.. Well.. received a call form my DaD today.. he is in China now. He asked me if I really pass.. then he sounded happy! ShEeSh~ Tomorrow meeting Lindy and Yan Rong.. they say maybe going to KTV.. Well.. Do you think I relaxed too much? Or maybe I should now take this time to relax? I don't know... but anyway.. I juz want to be a normal girl.. have fun when I am still in sch.. coz I know when I start my working life.. it will be hell... Hey.. I'm only 18!
if i ain't got you|9:05 PM|
It started off with a f*cked up day, with a f*cked up presentation.. then when I went for my driving test, I f*cked myself up.. I had a f*cked up tester, f*cked up taxis who don't want to give way and f*cked up buses which came out from nowhere! Well.. saw Nelson when I went up the stairs, we exchanged glances. I gave him a blank expression. The the f*cked up tester went on rattling about my f*cked up mistakes when I juz want to know my f*cked up results! When I came out from the f*cked up room, I saw Nelson again. I shook my head.. and he asked me how? "Pass or fail?" Then I said "So angry, don't want to mention..." He asked me "How can I fail?" Then I shook my bloody head and choke on the water I was drinking, and I said "I pass." Well.. juz feel that the whole thing is shit.. although I've passed, but the f*cked up tester grilled me.. Ah! Forget it. I would like to thank the following people...
1) First and formost, Nelson! Well.. if not becoz of his tough training, I wouldn't have pass... Promised him a treat!
(After this, the following is not in particular order)
2) The instructor who did the warm up lesson for me. He gave me a few pointers and wished me luck!
3) Ernest. Although he is not there with me, but he still have the fullest confidence in me~
4) Benjamin. Before I had my test, he keep assuring me that I will be alright. He has confidence in me too!
5) Doreen. She somehow guess wad I am going to have today and wished me luck! Sje said she will buy me something to encourage me! Don't forget Doreen~ Haha.. (jokin)
6) Yan Rong. She remembered my test date and wished me luck! =)
7) Mother. Although she didn't think I will pass the first time, but nevertheless, she is going to reward me! Lolz!
if i ain't got you|5:05 PM|
PLease pray for me... I really need everything to go well today... PLease.. Presentation sux, I've screwed it up. I can afford to screw anything up again.. PLease wish me all the luck. K?
if i ain't got you|11:44 AM|
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Well.. I was getting prepared for my presentation tomorrow.. unitl my throat hurts.. Well no choice.. all the groups are juz so strong.. their slides are so tidy and nice... coz they typed and print in on transparency. But for my group.. haiz.. chose to use hand written. Well.. went for my driving lesson juz now and saw Mr Mike Cheong (Marketing tutor).. hehehe. He had his 3rd lesson today. He came forward to talk to me.. Hehehz.. Luckily everything went well today.. I was like kinda careful on the road.. Now there are a few road constuctions going on... haiz.. Hmm.. today not so happening, nothing much happen in school, jzu that I am still feeling very tired.. haha.. AlwayZ. Before Ernest went to Malaysia, he called me.. hMmM.. now I am staring to miss him.. my phone so quiet. ArGhz... hope toorrow will be over soon.. Oh yah.. got my TCP/IP results today.. did not so well.. had all the stupid careless mistakes.. but I didn't think of it much though. I took it quite lightly. =)
if i ain't got you|11:59 PM|
I dunnoe why.. but I juz can't stop frowning! Well.. my project gropu mates said I like to frown alot and I do it without realising it. Haiz.. I really dunnoe wad to say.. Once, someone told me that my eyebrows can tell alot.. hehehzz.. the way it moves when I want to express my emotions I think. =) I dunnoe why.. these few days, I happen to frown damn much. I think it is becoz of all the studies stress. Yes.. I have came out of the "slacking" period, but now worries me is that whether I can perform well and live up to my expectations. Especially wad Mr Tham had said yesterday.. Anyway, my class suppose to start at one, but woke up earlier to do some review on one small project presentation tomorrow. I will be presenting.. kinda scared.. coz I think I have lost touch on how to present..Felling very exhausted and lethargic. Ernest will be setting off to Malaysia today, well gonna mizz him, he is going for 5 days.. Hmm.. Ernest, U betta take care! I don't know why more and more ppl seem to be blogging.. I asked Derrick why and he said some things he juz wannna get of his chest. Well.. Now you can see how stress our class is.. lOlzzz. Yapz.. have to go and do some work now.. wish me luck.. Bless all of ya!
if i ain't got you|9:48 AM|
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Well.. my headache is getting serious.. woh.. felt so heavy. Also.. received a comment today.. Mr Tham (my Yr1, Sem1 tutor) told me something.. well he said my results for last sem has "deproved"? And said something like my rank has gone down? Well.. suppose to be sad ya see.. but I juz couldn't bother.. juz I am juz so sick of competition.. instead I felt abit relieve.. anyway, I didn't even think I am a study material in the first place... =cHuCk= Anyway.. my brother has gone for his prelimary rounds a few months ago and got his results back.. he got all As and one D? The D grade I think is Physics Paper 2? Congrates man!!! Hehez... now he is preparing for his A Levels.. so that he can go to a University (overseas). Hmmm.... very tired today, met Ernest for dinner and he said something very sweet.. he said after his trip to Malaysia over this weekend, he is going to accompany me for the whole of next week.. Well.. Happy to hear that, but I doubt I can accompany him that much except oevr the weekends.. Coz of my DaRn PrOjEcts! Now, one by one.. my classmates wanna blog, the new member is Derrick! Welcome him! *cLaPz! Oh yah.. Mr Tham asked me something very funny today.. he asked me if I am with someone new, what's that suppose to mean? Hmmm.. I don't rememebr telling ANY of the tutors or lecturers that I have a bf? Woh.. NYP, no secrets.. shitz.. next time wanna do wad muz be careful liao.. Hehehehe... Alright.. gtg now.. everyone~ gOoD niGht!
if i ain't got you|10:39 PM|
SuXzz.. wad happen to blogger.. can't blog for 2 days becoz of some network problem.. StUpId~ Juz finished a test... hohoho.. feel so much better.. Yesterday, Derrick, Yaocong, Emily and Xin Hui came to my house and do Business Law project.. it went okie and we ordered pizza~ yUmpz.. those who have come to my house.. should know very well the standard lunch or dinner they get, it is either Pizza Hut, KFC or duck rice. LOlz.. alright.. got to do practical now.. see ya!
if i ain't got you|4:05 PM|
inally... it is up... anyway.. friendz.. Thanks you for all the concern you have given me.. and the previous 2 posts are nonsense.. juz forget about it.. alright? =)
if i ain't got you|7:44 AM|
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Finally I am into my work... Hurray.. tried my finance tutorial juz now.. Arghzz.. guess wad.. I don't know how to do!!! Shitz.. haiz.. made me lose my confidence only.. but nevermind, I think I will juz listen to this coming tutorial.. I've a lesson and I think it should apply to all.. Don't ever look back.. look forward.. Wadever happen in the past.. try to correct it instead of broading over it. This applies to everything.. Wadever it may be studies or relationships.. For me.. it is studies I guess.. I tend to broad over the tests I had taken and keep thinking about the stupid mistakes I made.. it upsets me of coz.. but maybe I should think it positively.. that I have learnt something... luckily I made the mistake now.. not in exams.. =) Well.. this morning when I woke up.. I was driven by something.. dunnoe wad.. it is juz that I feel like doing work.. getting my hands busy. I really do hope that this drive continues for this whole week at least.. Hmm.. I am thinking wad should I do now? Read the Business Law book? Do my practical?Do my TCP/IP tut? Or study for my test? Hmm... I dunnoe!
Check out the new link---> juZ fOr sAdDist
if i ain't got you|2:20 PM|
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Yesterday was so tired that I couldn;t blog at all and this morning I have to wake up coz I have a driving lesson to attend. Well.. lessons now are more dense and tense.. I think it is due to the upcoming driving test.. I don't know why but my confidence is running low.. I hope that I will pass at my first attempt.. I am alittle afraid coz things have not been going well for me. I am touched.. Nelson is sick today and wanted to take an MC.. but then becoz of me.. he came.. he said he is worried coz my test is approaching and couldn't afford to miss any classes.. Thank you Nelson~ Yesterday went to meet Ernest although I was dead tired~ Went to Han's and I ordered a spagetti.. it sux man! Don't ever order it~ Had fun last night... but returned early.. one becoz I am sleepy and two, Ernest going to meet his friend.. This morning after my lesson, I went to meet him again for breakfast and met Benji in the afternoon... and now he is in moi house. Watched the South Park Movie and did our biZ cOm homework. Oh yah.. I fogot to add in something.. Well.. tots have been occupying my mind.. I kept stalling the engine today.. I was fed up with myself.. I almost wanted to cry.. I am juz like so damn stress.. school especially.. Ha! I stared into space and even forgot to move when the light turns green~ Gosh.. wads the hell happening to me?
if i ain't got you|5:43 PM|
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Kaoz.. had a very bad stomach cramp today.. and you girls should know why.. lolz.. anyway, took a medecine juz now and I think I feel betta.. Hope that it is not only for a while! And oh gosh.. after today, I've realised that I have lots to projects to do.. really! Sometimes I even forget who are my group members.. so many projects.. but all with different people~ Anyway.. Yao Cong and Sim Lim irritated me today.. I dunnoe why.. maybe becoz of my PMS.. but I really almost wanted to scream at them.. but luckily we are in a library. Hehe.. Yan Rong took her Theory Test today.. haha and she was looking at the board with the instructors' photos.. she thinks that one of them is cute and I find it so too! His number is 5757.. lolz... Anyway.. I asked Yan Rong to use her camera phone to take Nelson's pic and that 5757's photo.. Muz be embarrassing for her~ Sorry Yan Rong.. and Thanks! Well.. juz now Benji messaged me and tell me that he is feeling upset.. dunnoe why.. hope he will take care and not to think so much. Alright Ben? Hmm... Last night I downloaded South Park.. hehez.. haven't watch yet.. Haiz.. maybe the 'slack' days are over.. now I think I have to get down to work man.. I know I've been saying this alot of times.. but this time really.. have to work.. coz all projects.. if I dun work.. my grp members might juz u know.. think I am a "free rider". Tomorrow is Friday.. haiz.. but can't go home early too.. have to attend a talk.. sianz.. I am damn sick manz. Oh yah.. saw Yan Ling's picture today.. not bad looking.. heheh.. anyway.. she likes Benji.. Let me tell u a little about her... They met in their Secondary School and happen to be good buddies.. then at that time, Benji got a liking for her but she dun.. now she has a liking for him.. but he dun.. And the reason why he doesn't want to accept Yan Ling becoz of her character.. coz it reminds him of a mixture of a few people's character and he juz dun like it.. He can't accept her character. Well.. the final decision is all up to him. =) Wish him luck anyway!
if i ain't got you|8:51 PM|
Yoz Yoz.. ah.. should be sleeping at this time of the day.. but I juz can't sleep... haiz.. listening to music now.. I had my guitar lesson lesson today and learnt a new song "I Just Called To Say I Love You". It is a nice song I should say.. also, my guitar instructor introduced me to this song, Californication by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. It is nice I should say and he taught me how to play the first part of that song.. Hmm.. I've realised that after I started learning guitar, I am able to expose myself to more songs.. And this is due to my influence from friends too.. especially Shannen and Benji~ Their discman are always with them.. haiz.. maybe I should get one for myself soon.. and maybe this is a good way to shut myself out of the world. Anyway friends.. thanks for ur concern.. I am feeling betta yea? Juz hope that the holidays will come and I think that will only be when I can pick myself up. Oh yah.. Meli, Doreen, Benji and Sean booked their Basic Theory Driving Test on 28th August.. Wish them luck~ And for Yan Rong.. I dunnoe when are U taking ur basic theory.. anyway.. wish you all the best yea? Arghz.. got a small pimple on my face.. sianz..
if i ain't got you|1:25 AM|
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Troubles have been crushing on me... Tried to think positively (which I used to).. but it is hard.. I always belive in hope, but now I am not so sure. I am still waiting for my guardian angel.. I know alot of them have been trying to tok thru me into things.. but ya know.. I juz dun have the power to let go. It is not only about relationships.. but also about school and practically everything in my life. I CAN'T LET GO. That's my main problem... Some of u might be nodding ur heads now.. and also I would like to thank those who stood by me.. Haiz... this year is not going well for me.. I dunnoe why.. I really HOPE for the better..
if i ain't got you|9:48 AM|
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Hello... Hmm... I am so tired.. juz came back from school and had 2 ICAs.. Well.. I can say that both didn't went well... Haiz.. made 3 terrible mistakes~ Shouldn't have! Gone through with Melissa yesterday and even told her the formula! Also.. for my second mistake.. is also stupid, coz I changed my original answer..3rd one? haiz.. dun wanna say... Shitz.. if I concentrate a little more.. this wouln't have happen. Hope that I will still score! Bless me.. I have been moody these few days.. becoz of a few reasons. One.. my menses had not arrive yet.. but all the symptoms appeared.. dunnoe when will be come.. it is already late and I hate it coz my mood will be lousy. Two, I will be taking my driving test soon, which means if I pass, I will not have anymore fun lessons and gonna somehow miss the times with Nelson. Duh~ Maybe if I fail.. the only reason which can console me is that I am able to have more lessons.. but who wants that? Three, there are more and more projects coming up and I am so afraid that I could not handle them well. Haiz.. problems, problems, problems.. it sux alright. Ur.. suddenly remember that tomorrow have a driving lesson and guitar lesson.. wonder how would it be???
Ohy yah.. yesterday after school.. I went Bishan again with Melissa and Doreen. Each of us bought something.. Melissa bought a pair of sandals, Doreen bought a pair of new shoes and I bought myself a 'net' blouse.. Hehhe.. lotsa holes.. The 3 of us agreed to wear the next day and we did! Hhehezz..
Message for Yishan: Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday to U....Happy Birthday to you! Well.. Hope you have a wonderful 18 birthday! Wanted to celebrate with u.. but ya know.. we are very busy with our own schedules or rather they do not match. Anyway.. hope you enjoy ur day! Thanks for being such a great friend!
if i ain't got you|5:45 PM|
Monday, August 11, 2003
WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright
Then I see the smile as I go oh, oh, oh
I would never want to miss this
Cause in my heart I know I’ll miss it
Chorus:
Hey now, hey now,
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now, hey now,
This is what dreams are made of
I’ve got somewhere I belong
I’ve got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now, hey now, hey now this is what dreams are made of)
Have you ever wondered what life is about
You could search the world and never figure it out (figure it out)
You don’t have to sail all of the oceans no, no, no
Having this is no mystery it’s here and now
It’s you and me, yea
Chorus: x1
(Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)
Open your eyes (this is what dreams are made of)
Shout to the sky (this is what dreams are made of)
Then I see the smile as I go oh oh oh
Yesterday my life was duller
Now everything is technical color
Hey now, hey now,
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now, hey now,
This is what dreams are made of
I’ve got somewhere I belong
I’ve got somebody to love
This is what dreams, dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now, hey now (hey, hey, hey)
Hey now (hey, hey, hey)
This is what dreams hey now hey now (hey, hey, hey)
This is what dreams are
Dreams are made of
if i ain't got you|8:14 PM|
Sunday, August 10, 2003
WaTcHed LiZzIe mCgUire The moVie~ CoOlz!!! HiLarY dUfF is dAmn Cute.. dUn ya tHink? aDDed a linK to hEr oFfIciAL sIte!
if i ain't got you|4:27 PM|
GoOd MoRning dudes!! Oh yah.. and Happy Belated National Day~ So did u go for the NDP yesterday? WEll.. surprisingly.. I manage to watch the whole of NDP.. Hahaha.. first time man.. but still.. I find that the performances are still the same every year.. it is always about forming shapes.. but not bad.. they did improve on the lightings... Hahhaz.. I think the best part is still the fireworks.. but I found that their fireworks always have those limited colours... And I find it's kinda funny.. President comes for about an hour... then go home.. so fast... Then they didn't do the Kallang Wave.. haiz.. Alot of them wearing the Giordano "I Love Singapore" shirt.. I think they really earning great bucks... Haiz... Oh yah.. watched "2 Fast 2 Furious".. hehehe... damn cool... especially the cars.. very stylo!!! Hmmm... watched Jurassic Park 2 last night.. ahaha... very funny.. watched it many times already.... still not tired of it.. Today I think I have to do my homework already, but I'm still lazy.. LOL!!!
if i ain't got you|10:47 AM|
Friday, August 08, 2003
wEll.. the outing didn't go so well.. Well.. one thing is that there are lotsa people and pool tables are full! Then another thing is that there are no plans.. no aim.. like where to go or what to do.. hAiz.. luCkIly I had met yAn rOng and liNdy later.. fElt gooD being with tHem after didn't meet for so lonG.. We went shopping and we spent in one of the shops for like about 30-45 minutes? cOz we can't decide whether to buy or not to buy.. in the end.. we bought~ hAz.. I am so tired.. Dunnoe wad to type.. but overall.. I had fun outside! Hehe~ Oh yah.. I never touch my guitar for today.. I find that it is kinda bad for me.. hehehzz.. nevermind lahz.. tomorrow then start~ I ate alot today.. I ate McSpicy Double Meal at 12, then after 2 hours, I ate Yoshinoya beef bowl value meal.. then I tot I had enough for the day.. and I didn't ecpect that I went to the Sakura Restaurant and ate with the girls.. woh.. I am going to get fat!!! Oh yah.. tomorrow is National Day.. so wad are all of u planning to do yeah? Hahaha... Me? Sianz... Last time I had this trend that I will go for movies on National Day.. but dun think so for this year.. My tests coming yeah!!! I am kinda scared.. scared that I won't be doing well..
if i ain't got you|11:06 PM|
Thursday, August 07, 2003
FeElinG kInda exciTed~ toMorrow hAnging out with my poly friends and later in the evening, I will be mEeting Yan Rong.. I wonder wad will we be doing tomorrow.. Sheesh~ play pool again ar? I think so.. heheh... playing pool with them is fun.. cgot lotsa funny things will happen. After school today.. I went to biShan and bought a shirt.. from Giordano.. 2 for $20!! dOreen bought one and I bought one.. so we paid together.. =) I really do hope that I will not wear it the same day as sIm lIm or yAocOng.. coz they have that shirt too... sIm lIm not so bad.. coz different colour.. bUt yAocOng.. I think he got the same colour as mine~ I had my very first ICA today.. I can say that it didn't go well.. onE thing becoz I am darn cold! shivEring! Cannot think properly! tHen next is becoz my eyes are kinda tired.. then I am like too tired to think~ hAiz.... I didn't even check my paper.. then I handed up~ haiz~ I should have learnt my lesson the other time when I skipped an exam question! Oh Yah! mY tutor.. didn't come for our test.. it's becoz she had an emergency.. not becoz she overslept!! Hehehzzz. Well.. today had my driving lesson.. and I can say that it sux.. coz tots have been occupying my minD~ This is shit...
if i ain't got you|11:14 PM|
I put this.. coz it is tHe MaTrIx!!!
Matrix!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
if i ain't got you|1:02 AM|
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
My heart is falling apart.... I dunnoe what to say.. wad to do.. or maybe I should juz ignore? Well... I juz feel that we should not juz sterotype ppl... like "Men have tatoos are bad".. or" People who smoke are no good".. it is kinda unfair to those ppl who are labelled as something bad becoz of the sterotyping? I shan't say much about this issue here coz it is kinda sensitive and I might offend others indirectly.. But it does affect my relationship with Ernest.. After I heard something.. I juz went straight to bed.. immuning my pain.. I didn't want to think wad to do.. coz I was scared.. Well, now that I am awake.. the pain returrns... I know I can't avoid this matter forever and have to face it sooner or later, but how am I going to break the news to Ernest? He might be terribly upset too... When I talked to him juz now.. I almost broke down.. but I didn't.. coz I didn't want him to get worried...Tomorrow I will be having my ICA.. and of course.. I do hope I will do well.. but I dunnoe.. there are so many things to think about lately.. plus wad had happen today... Alright.. I think this is it.. I shall go.. See ya
if i ain't got you|9:12 PM|
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
You are Ariel from The Little Mermaid!
What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
if i ain't got you|11:17 PM|
Heya~ Many things had happen today.. CeLeSte was terribly upset.. I guess she is really damn hurt coz I never seen her cry since sEc4 and it muz be something terrible that made her cry.... She is such a strong gal to me.. at least so much stronger than me.. Well.. Celeste.. if you do see this post.. Remeber.. it is going to be over soon alright? Dun be sad.. =) Well... I juz finished my driving lesson.. luckily my skills aren't "rusty" but I seemed to move faster like a mad woman.. hahaha~ Well.. after I finshed my lesson.. I received a message from my ex-stead, Cheng Kwee.. he asked me if I could give him a chance to chase me again..Of coz I was dumbfounded.. coz it was like really out of the blue and I tot that he already had no feelings for me after he goes to army.. Also.. something weird happened today.. I shan't say much.. but it is kinda funny.. I wonder if it is true.. or am I thinking too much.. Hahah.. dun understand nevermind! I understand can liao.. I think I will ponder about this matter today~
if i ain't got you|11:01 PM|
Monday, August 04, 2003
I tot we students are only the one who will be confused by the Odd-Even system.. didn't even know that tutors are also confused.. I was suppose to have my ICA today right? But our tutor didn't appear after 45 minutes had passed.. the module-rap, Sim Lim called her and we found out that she was still sleeping at home! She tot this week was the even week but it is suppose to be the odd week.. haiZ~ didn't expect this to happen~ alright, the test was postphoned to Thursday... School was alright today.. but kinda dull.. then after school, I went to meet Ernest.. and we had dinner together.. guess wad.. We ate Maggie Mee.. coz when I went to his house.. I was like lazy to go out of the house and have dinner.. hahaha... Anyway.. I find out that I am damn slack.. this is shit lor.. never been so slack before.. is like there are nothing to study? Maybe I am going to do last minute studying again.. Arhgz.. I really hate it! Please give me power again to work hard!!! (kinda immpossible)... Tomorrow is the day when I can really sleep till late.. coz for the last of whole week... I was like waking up earlier than my expected time everyday? Ah.. finally.. tomorrow I will be back at my driving.. and starting tomorrow.. it will be the time I really prepare for my driving test.. Today, I found out that this week, I might only have to study 3 days... coz tomorrow off and Friday.. the lessons are cancelled..... duh~ this will be wither the time to give myself more chance to slack or maybe a chance to buck up? I dunnoe.. hahah.. hope for the best!
if i ain't got you|10:15 PM|
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Love is like war,
Easy to begin but hard to end.
~ by Anonymous ~
WHY DO I CRY ?
Author: BrandiWine
Sometimes we argue, I don't know why.
Then I sit and wonder, why do I cry?
I cry because I love you,
I cry because I care,
I cry because I feel we have a love so rare,
sometimes I'm afraid I'll turn around and you won't be there.
I love you every minute,
I love you every day,
I even love you when we argue,
I love you when we play.
Sometimes I've wondered do you love me too,
then I look in your eyes and
I know it's true.
So when I say something a little crazy
or I do something you don't feel is right,
Please, let's try to work it out so we won't fight.
Some people take relationships for granted
it's sad to hear but true,
I don't want this to happen, not with you.
I want our relationship to be completely from the heart
so we both know, no matter what we go through we will never part.
if i ain't got you|11:53 PM|
Well.. things did change for the better.. I was meeting Ernest today and he messaged me that he is going to be late.. although he is late (again), but at least he did make an effort to message and tell me.. Well.. I am easily satisfied.. Don't I? Hahaha.. The meeting didn't end up quite well.. blame on my tiredness~ I dunnoe why I am feeling so tired these few days, in fact is this whole week! Tomorrow I will be having my first ICA.. Biz cOm.. it sucks alright.. I have to respond a complain letter and rewrite a report. This is shit.. is like testing on my English.. Well, I do admit that my English sux to a certain extent but what can u study on this test? I didn't do anything for my whole weekend.. and I was like suppose to read up my school materials and prepare for the upcoming ICAs? But I think it is kinda impossible.. I had my guiatr lesson this morning and the duration was an hour instead of 30 minutes.. after that.. my finger hurts..Well.. learning guitar truely needs alot of determination.. but that doesn't going to make me give up! =)
Shannen and Benji are not feeling too good today.. they had another quarrel.. I wonder when is it going to stop.. and it also involves a few more ppl.. it is kinda ugly I should say.. Hm.. well.. I suddenly remembered that someone had left a comment in my blog like about a few months ago? Is that he/ she commented on my behaviour towards my life and family.. and I still thank him/ her for that! Although he/ she sounded rude in the first place, but I was still ready to accept the comments he/ she gave and it does help me--> being more positive in life. So the moral of the story is.. wadever ppl say about you..juz think about it.. there might be some truth in it.. and betta still.. if the mistake is spotted, change it....
Message for Shannen:
I know you are feeling terrible about the ugly comments you have received.. wadever is it the truth or not, only you know and no one else.. So maybe juz take some time to think about it.. Don't think it as a negative way... This might be a good thing as you can change for the betta. Alright? All the best to ya! =)
if i ain't got you|8:50 PM|
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Well... I have to clarify something.. u all may think that it is a surprise.. but no.. I already knew the day before coz he told me.. and another thing is that.. when I got to know about it.. I told him that maybe after the outing.. we can go and buy together.. and he said "OK".. but then he juz went to buy before meeting me the next day. He KNOWS I let off at 10 am and he says he wanna meet me at 2pm coz he wants to sleep.. then I said alright... So try waiting for a person for 5 hours.. Becoz of him.. I didn't eat the whole day (did have one patheitc sandwich) until I met him at 6. Is more of like I knew that he couldn't make it on time that's y I asked him not to buy beforehand... but he juz dun want to listen.. The wrost thing he had done was to call me at 3.30pm.. and the first thing he said was," You've missed the fun!" instead of "sorry".. I was thinking wad the hell....
I went to a seminar this morning.. and I feel fortunate that I did not choose SP coz if I did.. I really have to wake up early! For a very long time.. this year is the first time I woke up at 6 plus.. Haiz.. the seminar was okie.. and during the break.. we were only given a small square piece of pizza.. a muffin, a small patheitc piece of carrot cake and a packet of drink.. juz like that.. Yep.. and the seminar was kinda boring I should say.. But these all are not important. The most important thing is that I went with another school mate of mine and her name is Watch.. Yeah.. I tok to her somethings and got to know about her results.. In year 1.. there are total of 14 modules and out of the 14 modules.. she scored 11 Distinctions and 3 As... Ya.. Some ppl might think she is a freak.. but I think she is a genius.. Hahahaha.. Yapz..
Today can say that it was kinda depressing for me.. I dunnoe why.. juz felt sad...
if i ain't got you|6:41 PM|
Friday, August 01, 2003
Things juz go wrong today... Didn't end up eating Marche with Ernest.. We even had a big quarrel.. and at the verge of breaking up... Well the summary of the whole thing is like .. he was suppose to meet me at 3pm in HMV, then I juz made a trip down to CelEstE's work place (Cineleisure) and wait for him at the same time.. at 3.30pm.. Ernest called me and sad to say he is still at home! And ya know what.. the actual meeting time was suppose to be 2pm! I was kinda fed up and we had a heated quarrel.. Ernest was late becoz he was busy preparing seafood and planning to cook for me! I dunnoe if I have the reason to be angry for him being late.. And of coz he was angry coz he felt unappreciated. I cried of coz and Celeste was kinda worried.. Sorry Celeste! (And thanks for the tissue) Then I messaged Ernest-" If you still love and care for me. Come and look for me" At the very moment.. I dunnoe why.. I was like prepared not to hear from him but he still called me eventually.. he apologised and said wanted to make up to me.. I dunnoe what I should do.. so I told him to give me some time to think about it and call him back later.. I dunnoe where to head.. so I called Benji.. and both of us agreed to meet up.. supposed to be at YCK MRT but becoz I miz the stop (due to messaging Celeste).. I went to Karthib to meet him instead.. Yeap.. Thanks Benji for cheering me up and be there whenever I need him.. He is really a great friend. But when I met up with him.. I realised that he is much more depressed than me... But anyway.. Then I decided to meet Ernest at 6. When I met him.. is like nothing had happen before... we start holding hands and do wad couples do... I felt uneasy.. coz I told myself that I have to talk to him our problems.. Well.. I went to his house and of coz.. he cooked crab, clams and drunken prawns for me.. it was delicious.. Thanks dear... But anyway.. in the end.. I still manage to tok to him about how I felt.. and he did compromise.. but I was still feeling uneasy.. I dunnoe why.. I juz think that he dun realy take my words seriously and may forget in a week... Why not tell me wad should I do.. I am really in a confused state now.. I want to love him... but it is juz so hard...
if i ain't got you|11:00 PM|
Haiz.. dunnoe wad happen.. my table on the right suddenly erased off yesterday.. dunnoe why.. so I have to retype everything again.. that's y u might spot some difference. Now no lesson.. very sian.. class ended early.. and my group memebers are not staying for project coz we have done wad we should do.. Sianz... now I have to wait till 2 pm! Arghz.. Melissa meeting her boy, Zhiqiang meeting her girl... they seem so loving.. haiz.. Shannen and Melvyn also very loving.. Haiz.. I envy them so much.. How I wish Ernest is more romantic and pay more attention to me at least... Now.. our realtionship is like as if I am staying overseas.. seldom can reach and contact him. Arghz.. my mother is so right.. When I have fallen into the pit.. it is so hard to get out.. Sometimes I am really surprised by my tolerance.. Somethings that he had done are suppose to be unpardonable.. but I still forgive and give in to him.. Somethings need to let me cool down for a few days.. but is like I can juz forgive him in a few minutes and by the next day.. I will juz put everything behind- Sometimes even forgeting wad I quarrelled with him about.. Dunnoe if this is a good thing or not.. Anyway, I look forward into seeing him later.. hope that my day will be fine.. ish me luck!
if i ain't got you|10:06 AM|
